Sep 24, 2009

Countdown ...

Adithya was lying all alone inside his dark room, and thinking about his future, while doing that he smiled at himself and said, what is there for future when he is counting his days, he knows he is not going to be here in this place for ever and doctors have already set the date for him, he is not bothered about that, as he is matured enough to understand that this is all part of life. His thoughts revolved around Amrita, he loved her more than anyone else and he is just not ready to miss her, but he knows that he cannot be with her for long, he recollect the days where he and Amirta used to chat within themselves like there would be no tomorrow, they both enjoyed those conversations, but it is all over now, he and Amrita are never going to get time to talk in private, his eyes ejected few tear balls out and that got mixed with the darkness and the dampness of his room ...

Amrita came into his life just 9 months back and before that they both were strangers, initial three months he was not so comfortable with her and also Amrita was not comfortable with Adithya, but as days progressed Amrita realized that Adithya is going to be her life and Adithya too understood that his life without Amrita is next to nothing, you never know when the love bug bites you. They both made sure one thing, that their love is not made public and no one knows that they are in love, also they made sure that there is no one around when they were talking, Amrita liked everything in Adithya and its vice versa. Adithya as far as the society is concerned is a job less bachelor, he has nothing to do in this world other than admiring Amirta, but Amrita on the other hand was working in a decent firm and earning a lot, after the both fell in love, almost every day Amirta used to give him food and shelter, after all it is love.

Adithya too had an exceptional talent, he is a great swimmer, but was too shy to participate in any competitions and win prizes, Amrita sensed his talent and would request him to swim just for her and those were the times Amrita would be flying in air, she will feel so happy and also Adithya would be at his best when he swims in front of Amrita. Time is running out and Adithya is not going to talk to Amrita anymore, all those daily chats and silent giggles are going to go for once. His room was still dark and Adithya is still lying all alone, and he was physically restless. One fine morning he was taken to the hospital to see if there are any chances, but the doctors have already given him a date and that date was today. Amrita cried buckets that day and she has no choice as well, at the strike of 10 AM in the morning, Amrita busted into a huge cry and scream, and little Adithya came out crying with those watery fluids all over his body and was laid in the arms of Amrita, for the first time both had a chance to see each other and they both giggled...

10 SAID FROM THE HEART:

mathangi said...

Superb and fantastic description and ending! after completing the reading,I knew for sure the end is going to be a surprise. It came true,. so again i read it backwards to find the link.

good suspenseful story teller.

Vishnu said...

i thought adithya was going to die of cancer.. aana food and shelternu sonna bodhe oru mild doubt vandhadhu.. finally pregnancy got confirmed.. aanalum sir neenga romba mokka podareenga..

Swetha Guptha said...

the concept is just too gud but could have been put better.....was my first thought. Reading it again gives a very good feel :)

Satish Nagasubramaniam said...

@Mathangi - Thanks!! Life is full of surprises naa

@Vishnu - Sabai la unmaiya solaadheenga ;-)

@Swetha - I know I am still a budding writer, so excuse me if I have not presented it well. But soon I will improve. Thanks for you honest comments. I like it :)

Vishnu said...

endha unmai sir.. story patri ah?? or the mokka part of u??.. sorry for repeating..lol..

The Rat... said...

chanceless Sat... great one.. u kept me guessing.. read it twice to grasp it completely...

:-)

Chan said...

Excellent mate...

Amrita said...

What struck me most was the protagonists name was same as mine!! Good post, but i think you had written something on similar lines ?

Satish Nagasubramaniam said...

@Amrita - Oh yaa, suddenly this name struck me and I used that, and I too knew that it was your name, but it just came :) Hmmmm, similar line post ?? may be something with a baby and mom, not sure ... :p

chennai girl said...

too good. As everyone said i too went back once more to get the complete feel. I think its part of the success of the story written to make the reader read it twice.

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