Feb 23, 2008

Ippadiyum oru Project Manager ...

We all know what will happen if we recruit someone over the telephonic interview, most of the cases a wrong person will join the company than the one who actually gave the interview, In one such incident a software company happens to hire a "Vettiyaan" (one who burries bodies in the burial ground) for the post of a Project Manager, he absolutely does not know anything about this industry and he manages to come into work for the first day, so here starts the hungama of our VPM (Vetti(yaan) Project Manager)

HR comes and introduces this new PM to his team and asks him to conduct a team meeting and get to know about the daily work that happens at the office and what kind of projects that are currently going.

Team: Good Morning Sir, ungala pathi eadhaavadhu sollungalaen
VPM: Enna pathi inaa kannu sollaradhu, inniku sethaa naalai ku paalu
Team: !!@#^@^#@&#
Team: Idhuku munaadi neenga enga velai senjukitu irrundheenga ?
VPM: Naa 20 varushamaa kannamaapetai layae thaan paa keeraen, vera engayum set aavala
Team: @#^%@#@#%
Team: Kannamaapetaiyaa ? anga edhuku neenga velai senjeenga ?
VPM: Enna paa nee appadi ketukina, anga thaanae elaarum kadisiyaa vandhaaganum
Team: Oh, namba office a kannamapetai ku maatharadha pathi sollaraaru polaruku ....
Team: Idhuvaraikum unga service la neenga evalo deliveries pannirupeenga ?
VPM: Inaadhu deliveryaa ? namba athelaam paarkaradhu illa baa, namba deathu thaan paarkaradhu
Team: Hey, romba strict aana PM polaruku da, delivery date meet pannala naa konnuduvaen nu symbolic aa sollaraaru
Team: Sir, neenga evalo varusham code ezhudhirukeenga ?
VPM: Codelaam avalovaa ezhudhinadhu kedayaadhu thambi, orae vettu thaan, 6 by 6 kuzhi ready
Team: Hey 6 Sigma process pathi eadhu sollaraaru polaruku daa ...
Team: Sir, naangalum ungala maadhiri aaganum naa enna seiyanum sir ?
VPM: Onni illa kannu, eppavumae ethayaanum potu nondikinae iru ..
Team: Neraya analyse pannanum nu sollaraaru ...
VPM: Bodya paarthu mersalaavaadha
Team: HTML la vara tag a paarthu ezhudha sollaraaru
VPM: Oru sila dhabaa ulla fitae aavadhu siladhunga, appo kaiyayo, kaalayo otchu thooki podanum
Team: Sila time namba pannara fix seriyaa work aavaadhaam, appo vendaadha functions / procedures a delete pannanum nu sollaraaru
VPM: Eppavumae full tighttt aa irrundhaa thaan enniya maadhiri strong aa irruka mudiyum
Team: We should always be updated with the latest technologyaam ...
VPM: Yaen kannu, inga indha room imma kulu kulu nu keedhae, eadhaavadhu body keedhaa ulla ?
Team: Bodyaaa ? enna sollareenga ?
VPM: Kannu, ippo unakku enna venumnaalum peru irrukalaam, but katseela elaarukum vekkara orae peru BODY thaan.
Team:
$^%$@@&^%

Suddenly, one of his team member gets a call saying that his thaathaa has expired
T.M: Sir, enga thaathaa sethutaaraam sir, naa immediate aa veetuku poganum, please enna allow pannuga sir
VPM: Iyayooo, seri vaa thambi povalaam, enakkum neraya velai irrukum
T.M: Sir, neenga enga sir kelambareenga ?
VPM: Dho daa, nee vootuku po naa kaatuku poraen ... unga thaathaa va anga thaanae ittaara poreenga ?
Team: Sir, unga nalla mansasuku thanks sir, enga thaathaa va naaga erichukaraom, neenga kaadu varaikum vara vendaam sir
VPM: Ada po thambi, eadho s/w industry la velai kedachaa nalla irrukumae nu Vettiyaan velaiya vittutu inga vandhaen, idhu enakku set aavaadhu, naa thirumba sudukaatukae poraen, nee seekaram unga thaathaava itaa anga ...

He takes out a big SANGU and a ROUND DISC from his bag and plays it there itself ... Poooommmmmm, ting ting, ting ting ... Pooooooommmmm ting ting, ting ting ...

Team: @%$#@*^$%$%^@@#$^@%*&*&^&%^@$#$$%#

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