May 17, 2009

Airtel - Do Not Disturb ...

I really don’t understand what is the meaning of this DND (Do Not Disturb) facility which most of us have enrolled with our respective service provider. I am still getting calls from all those irritating banks to credit card companies to holiday resorts. I got so flared up one day when I got close to 7 calls from the same bank (ICICI) asking me for a personal loan, I called up Airtel with that same intense irritation and I caught hold of a call center girl, I know they are not the one at fault, but they have been paid to handle tough customers like me, the first thing I asked her was, can I talk to some top official of Airtel ...

She probably wouldn’t have expected such a first line from me, she said "Pardon Me, can you repeat" and this is how our conversation un-folded ...

ACC: Sorry Sir, can you repeat ...

Me: Dear, I just asked you if I can talk to any of the top management folk of Bharati, I know it would be a call center, but still can you provide me with some details ...

ACC: Sorry sir, we are not supposed to disclose any such information, may I know what your problem is ...

Me: See, I am getting unwanted calls and sms from tom, dick and harry who I don’t want to know or to talk, can you guys do something to stop that ??

ACC: Sure Sir, we can certainly solve your problem, there is a facility called DND which you have to register and it will take 48 working days, for us to process your request and put you on the DND list.

Me: Madam, I have registered for DND not once, I have done it thrice and I have come across so many 48 working days funda of Bharati, which no one in this world knows why you folks need 48 days. But it just takes 2 mins for your executives to steal the numbers from the database and sell it all banks and resorts.

ACC: I am sorry for this inconvenience sir, you mean to say that you have already registered for DND and still you are getting marketing calls sir ?

Me: I thought I said the same thing before and you just re-iterated, btw - are you any Mega Serial director ?? You tend to grow conversations which are not needed (I pissed off na ...)

ACC: Sir, I should say that we cannot do anything; you have to contact the banks and request them to remove your number from their database

Me: (Almost about to blast), What ?? Are you talking with any sense ? That is the reason I asked you if I can talk to someone who is on top of the ladder, and you are just at the bottom who is receiving the shit that your boss throws at, but I don’t need to be in that situation, I am paying money for your boss to even get his underpants, mind it. Why the hell I should run behind those anonymous callers and "request" them to take my number off their database. In the first place how did that go out of Bharati ??

ACC: Sir, I will have to connect you to my manager sir, you can talk to him.

Me: He was the shit whom I asked you to transfer in the first place.

ACC: Sir, can I place you on hold for a moment ?

Me: You place me wherever you want to, if the line gets disconnected while you transfer, Swetha (that’s her name) I would make sure that you lose your job.

Line got transferred after nearly 6 minutes.

Manager: Hello Mr. Satish, how may I help you. I spoke to my colleague and she updated me with your problem.

Me: See, you talk like a typical IT manager, you know half baked information, and you would talk as if you will solve everything on your own, and you already know certain things, but still you asked me "How may I help you" (I decided that I make the life of few Airtel customer care folks ... a HELL)

Manager: It’s not like that Satish, I just wanted to understand the problem much better.

Me: Good that you at least agreed that I am having some problem. It is related to that DND facility, I am getting shit calls and fcuking sms from anonymous ppl who is asking me to come and attend some shit of a night party at this beach and that beach. Can you do something to stop those fcuking calls coming to me. (I used those "fcuking" words)

Manager: Ah, have you registered yourself with our DND facility Satish ?

Me: Well, if I have to repeat the Ramayana once again to you, may I know what kind of update you got from Swetha ? Was she telling you that she got few shots last night ?? Boss, you are talking to a customer, mind it, I don’t want to repeat anything that I told to Swetha, understand ? Tell me if you folks can bar those calls, I just want a YES or NO. Don’t waste my time and your time here.

Manager: Can I place you on hold for a minute Satish (May be he scolded me there)

Me: Waiting

Manager: Satish, thank you for holding the line, I have forwarded your complaint to the concerned department, you should be contacted by an Airtel Customer Care Executive within 2 business days.

Me: Just could not control my anger ... - So you are not the guy from that fcuking "Concerned Department" is it ?? Then why the hell the line got transferred to you ? What, you thought that I need someone to shape my balls is it ? I just don’t want any explanations, if the call is not going to be transferred to the concerned department now, I will make sure that I walk-in to Airtel office and give a written complaint on you and Swetha. The call is yours

Manager: No Satish, there are certain procedures and process that we need to follow, if your issue is so urgent, then you have to walk-in to our office and then meet our manager

Me: Dude, do you think that I am jobless ? You dirty jerks will give my number to all the prostitutes in the city and you want me to go there and then suck them up is it?? Fcuker ... I can take you guys to consumer court saying that you have created a whole lot of "Mental Agony" to me, don’t think I will not do that, never underestimate your opponent.

Manager: Ok Satish, I will ask my manager to talk to you

Me: Sampath, I don’t need any explanations, I am not here to find out the organization chart of Bharati, I wanted to talk to someone and make him understand that Airtel is giving terrible hardship to a customer.

Manager: Transfers line to his manager ...

Me: Happily sipping a hot cup of coffee in my balcony and making the life of someone miserable ...

Sr.Manager: Hi Satish, good evening. I know what your problem is, I spoke to the DND department and they told me that there has been some mistake, and they will surely rectify that and will get back to you in 24 hours. I am extremely sorry for this hardship, and trust me Satish, even I am getting those irritating calls, and though I work for Airtel (he laughs)

Me: Boss, just because your balls are also screwed, it does not mean that all of us can share your pain. It is absolutely non-sense. One more call I get on my mobile from any banks or resorts or somebody unknown for that matter. I am personally gonna write up to TRAI and make sure that Bharati Telecom is paying me a huge ransom for causing this "Mental Agony". I appreciate your time for this. Thanks

Ding ... Line cut. Looks like this silent Satish can also go so ruthless ... How many bad words I have said in 6 minutes ... Did not keep a count on that ...

3 SAID FROM THE HEART:

Amrita said...

a lotttttttt of bad words
wish i cud use the same tactics and deal with ICICI bank officials who are giving a lot of pain for my credit cards :(

Shylu said...

Achachoooo..paavam antha swethavum antha managerum!!!

:-)

Gopal said...

Hi Sathish,

Yes, its so irritating such ananymous calls, which no body bothers about from service provider's side.

Just wonder is there any response after this call-incident ?

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