When the whole planet is debating if we leaving a better place for our kids, how many parents did wonder / debate if they are leaving better kids for this planet? Today's younger generation is extremely scary to deal with, and today's parents are extremely ignorant on their actions, be it working couple or couple where the wife is a home-maker, they don't look to mind their kids. This may not be a "common" picture across the board, but this scenario is the "majority" in many families.
How many kids today who are between their 6 and 16 years do these following - "Ask sorry", "Say thank you", "give-up and move-on", being sportive", "accept defeat"? It would be hardly 1 or 2 out of 100 kids. Kids these days are extremely arrogant (again, not all kids, majority of them), they don't want to accept defeat, they want to use "tears" and "tantrums" as their weapons to get their things done and with the current family setup where couples are mostly on their own without a proper "elderly person" at home, all they want is to be with "peace of mind" and then give up to their tantrums and move on.
The blame is entirely on today's busy parents, I am not saying that you should not run behind money, but please remember, your ignorance or your choice of being ignorant is going to hurt you on the longer run, the habits you cultivate in your kids is going to ruin them the ideology of "enjoying life" which was what taught to us by our parents. Tomorrow when they grow up they cannot accept defeat, if they don't get what they want, they become violent, they will have absolutely no manners in life, schools can only teach you to be bookish, no school teaches how to "live" life, that is something parents have to teach their kids.
Today's couple have move away from the "joint" family culture for all the reasons they claim as "good", but don't you think you are robbing the love and care a grandparent can give your kid just because you have egoistic issues with your in-laws?, grand parents or elders who are elder than today's parents, come with a lot of experience, so you distancing from them is equal to you distancing your dreams of bringing up a child who is not a burden to this society, before you kid is thrown out of the system by their behaviour, you better wake up and take the task of bringing up a child with utmost responsibility.
There is nothing great in chest thumping that your son or daughter is getting 1st rank in school, or getting 1st prize in sports, first bring up a child who is so lovable, inculcate the sense of empathy, teach them how to respect elders, more than anything, teach them to "enjoy life". Today parents are busy in forcing the kids to get good marks in school, do higher studies, but they are not going to help for the kid to "survive" in this complex game called "life", there would be surprises, there would be twists and turns, but life has to move on. Stop giving up to your kids tantrums, let them cry, let them starve to death, let them learn in a hard way, nothing wrong, your responsibility is to leave a better "neighbour", "husband", "father", "friend" on the whole a better "PERSON"
Well...every child throws tantrums in a certain age group... the things they demand might have changed over time..if now its for the tablet, earlier it was for a cricket bat or a barbie doll...
Society is changing, and i feel.. most parents are seeing the good or bad in modern parenting depending on their personal experience. They have ended up being in a place which is secure and they deem the parenting they received is/was the best. even i am in the same boat. That is when i see the differences. i was raised in a very nuclear family very far from grandparents - not because of anything personal but for the Indian government norm of transfers. I think i turned out to be decent enough.
There is definitely not a one size fits all approach to parenting. In fact there is none whenever human relationships are concerned. Take a stand depending on the situation. If you think you are spoiling a child, retract. I have seen many over discplined kids being very self concious and diffident. And yes i am talking about the next generation.
Spare the rod and spoil the child is an age old dictum. At a certain age, every child seems spoilt. Allow them to grow and mellow down. When they can control their emotions are when they know how to constructively express them they will turn over a new leaf.
K was scared we are raising a problem child because of our kid's mood swings. I consulted a professional and she said - This is NORMAL. This shows, she has feelings and can be happy or upset by changes. it is human.
So yes... lets make every effort to raise good human beings... but lets not fit them to become one of us. they are individuals, let them soar and reach their goals and destinations.
it is best for the kids to play.ReplyDelete
Completely agree. Glad you raise the issue because its often badly tabooed.ReplyDelete